Curt Doolittle

Form: Diary

  • ANOTHER BREAKTHROUGH DAY Struggling over the past … I dunno month? Religion. T

    ANOTHER BREAKTHROUGH DAY

    Struggling over the past … I dunno month? Religion. The Method. Then acquisitionism/personality. Then banking (almost done with banking by the way).

    Keep coming back to personality because it’s bothered me for so long. I mean, I know causality is acquisition. I knew there were only two primary personality traits.

    I had already solved the moral biases as public and private “property”.

    But today I figured it out. And it was obvious in retrospect. Now I have to fit the traits and subtraits in (variables). which requires quite a few dimensions.

    I just applied propertarian method (writing sequences) and the answer became obvious immediately.

    Anyway.

    I don’t have the energy to celebrate right now but it’s worth celebrating.

    Not that too many people are going to like the answer. It’s just that its so obvious that it’s impossible to avoid.

    (Steps in the Prey Drive)

    Source date (UTC): 2017-07-10 14:47:00 UTC

  • Porch. Shade. Sunday. Noon. Breeze. Pleasant temp. Sunshine. Birds. Feeders. Fla

    Porch. Shade. Sunday. Noon.

    Breeze. Pleasant temp. Sunshine. Birds. Feeders. Flag.

    Church next door rotating through sessions of Catholics.

    I’m working on reforming banking money and credit for … I don’t know what level. College?

    The guy next to me is working on curriculum for vocational college students.

    The woman next to him is working on college curriculum for teachers.

    The targets are the same: students. But the content couldn’t be more different. Nor the expectations of the students.

    Source date (UTC): 2017-07-09 12:29:00 UTC

  • Slept very well, and so I’m having one of those ‘very good’ days. Working on tea

    Slept very well, and so I’m having one of those ‘very good’ days. Working on teaching ‘the method’. Feeling awe. Feeling ‘confident’ and a bit excited where I have generally felt ‘overwhelmed’ and depressed by the impossible task I set myself to – or the task I asked the gods for, or the task the gods set me to. I am not really sure of my own agency in this matter.

    0. “I cannot try to understand until I know I do not understand”.

    1. “I cannot understand until I am ready to understand.”

    2. “The gods reveal to me the answer when I am ready.”

    3. “I am most successful in understanding when I do what my gods advise me.”

    4. “I am happiest when I am successful in transcendence through understanding – when I have achieved an increase in agency.”

    5. “I feel ever closer to the gods through each success at transcendence.”

    Source date (UTC): 2017-07-06 10:30:00 UTC

  • ( Health update: I’ve been ‘recovering’ for nine months now. I’m watching my wor

    ( Health update: I’ve been ‘recovering’ for nine months now. I’m watching my work and it’s almost back to pre-disaster mode. Not quite. I’m still a bit fragile in a lot of ways. I have to work at maximizing my sleep, eat enough, drink enough water, limit my working hours, and be liberal with anti-histamines. I have to keep my obligations limited. But I’m slowly recovering. The big self-hurt was in trying to maintain such a heavy work schedule without recovering first. I’ve recovered more in the past six weeks than in the previous eight months. And going forward I am going to have to deal with the fact that I am no longer physically capable of the same workload in my twenties, thirties, and forties. Negative returns on investment when I try. I’ve been able to exercise a bit and get some sun. I am pretty sure that if I can increase my cardio and a bit of my strength that will improve also. But at least I am recovering quickly whenever I exercise. And that wasn’t happening before. )

    Source date (UTC): 2017-07-03 10:31:00 UTC

  • (Why do the women in my life take such joy in making me feel stupid about the ma

    (Why do the women in my life take such joy in making me feel stupid about the many obvious little things I am stupid about?)

    Source date (UTC): 2017-07-01 12:47:00 UTC

  • (Only remember two instance of detention in high school. Neither I deserved. I d

    (Only remember two instance of detention in high school. Neither I deserved. I don’t remember the reason for the first other than it was false. The second was ridiculous. I wasn’t taking notes. But I never take notes. I never have had to. I remember everything. So I sat in the principal’s office and said that I would not show up for detention, and that he was welcome to take it up with my parents. I mean, if you knew my father, if I was wrong there would be hell to pay. But if I was right, you didn’t want him in your face. Not for even three seconds. He had your back in a fight. Especially against authority. One of the few good things I can say about him. So I only had one detention, in seventh grade, for insulting a teacher. And I deserved it. Not that he didn’t. But that it wasn’t my place to insult a teacher. )

    Source date (UTC): 2017-06-28 15:29:00 UTC

  • (OMG I miss Ukraine….)

    (OMG I miss Ukraine….)

    Source date (UTC): 2017-06-25 11:24:00 UTC

  • My female ‘entanglement’ in Ukraine is losing patience with me. ( I thought I wo

    My female ‘entanglement’ in Ukraine is losing patience with me.

    ( I thought I would be back in 3-6 months. ) 🙁

    Source date (UTC): 2017-06-17 19:50:00 UTC

  • (diary)(getting curt back into prime condition) OK, so it is taking me 12-14 hou

    (diary)(getting curt back into prime condition)

    OK, so it is taking me 12-14 hours of rest to get 7-8 house of enough sleep to function at the top of my game. If I get heavy exercise it condenses the time back down to 10 hours because I sleep better. If I avoid dusty (or animal) environments, and I avoid cheese, sulfites, and pasta (cheese has been the big culprit) then I seem to do even better. So I’ve been cheating on a paleo for about a month but it is working. The air quality in Kiev/L’viv was apparently affecting me more than I thought. In the past eight months I’ve killed off the pneumonia, the depression, the exhaustion, got my skin color and tone back, most of my coordination and some of my agility, and started running(jogging) a bit. My bp is a touch higher than usual. and so is my heart rate. That means I need to up my fitness. I am still having low blood pressure problems when I laugh or wheeze too much. I need to drop ten pounds and work on some basic weights. And so in three or four months I should be ‘healthy’ again. My guess is it will take another year of not burning myself out to get back to prime. I just … The big trick was just sleeping enough and not trying to work 14-16 hours a day. It was just preventing me from recovering.

    Source date (UTC): 2017-06-17 18:44:00 UTC

  • ( These problems weigh on my subconscious relentlessly – and the autistic demon

    ( These problems weigh on my subconscious relentlessly – and the autistic demon is like an enormous, crushingly loud, irresistible, uncaring, merciless, steam powered clockwork enslaving me until I solve them – only to have the next sisyphean task shoved onto me without a moment or kindness. And today … today I feel a respite. A release. As if millions of monumental, heavy, greasy, iron gears finally have been forced into alignment, and the clockwork spins, and the demon is distracted by all the motion. I need to celebrate. To enjoy a few hours or maybe a day of peace of mind. To catch just a moment of rest before he remembers me and enslaves me anew. The cake is baked. )

    Source date (UTC): 2017-06-15 12:39:00 UTC