Um. In undergrad I studied one year of engineering, then fine art art theory, and art history, with creative writing, and political science as electives.
There were like four or five straight guys in the school.
I’m not stupid. 😉
Source date (UTC): 2017-08-11 18:11:00 UTC
The world is a different place today. But I remember, very clearly, in the southern florida night, as a boy, looking through a ten inch reflector telescope at Saturn. I felt small. Vulnerable. Awe. And fear.
Source date (UTC): 2017-08-10 20:33:00 UTC
I considered myself smart and different but not a genius. It was more that other people were just somewhere between misguided, not very smart, and crazy. I though of them as zombies. I just loved people anyway and so I just ‘did my own thing: learning on my own and doing what was necessary to keep teachers and professors amused and enjoyed other people. If knowledge of aspiness had been available and treatment for it with ssri’s or stimulants, I think I would have sought much harder to fit in. It was after I stopped trying and just accepted that the world would like me much better if I tried to help everyone I could, and avoid stupid converstations whenever I could, and provide people only with ideas and suggestions if they asked for it.
Source date (UTC): 2017-08-10 13:59:00 UTC
Yes, if you want to criticize me, I am an arrogant, discriminating, polymathic, elitist, cultured, artistic, snob – but one that despite depression era parents and grandparents, was raised with sufficient Noblesse Oblige to avoid the defects of the proud, effete, intolerant, and petty; to appreciate and honor my betters; and to use my achievements, and advantages of birth, for the benefit of my people – and other peoples should they wish to make use of it. I know of no better strategy to adopt that would not result in the production of false signals, to accumulate false status, by the deception of others. It is, in fact, an ascetic and skeptical personal philosophy: Truth is truth is truth. It is just a personal philosophy that takes more intellectual and emotional courage(‘guts’) than all but a few can handle. So, be careful how you criticize me. Because I can look in the mirror. But can you? If not I will make you.
Source date (UTC): 2017-08-08 09:59:00 UTC
(ack. headache. weather. useless today. time to move content rather than produce content. )
Source date (UTC): 2017-08-07 12:42:00 UTC
OK. This experiment has been a fucking catastrophe. I’m beyond embarrassed, frustrated, and angry.
Megan asks if she can set something intimate up with followers. I give her the shot. She drives her own interests, and I go along with it, and while we get two grown ups (Sunic and Duchesne) then she gets Red Ice Radio involved – “Tinfoil Hat Radio”, then gets Jorjani Involved (tinfoil hat pseudo academic – this guy is a fucking nutcase). Then she gets MacDonald. And we have now we have become a bunch of whiny bitches and tinfoil hatters, rather than people discussing solutions to postmodernism.
I’m embarrassed to be even vaguely associated with someone like Jorjani. I’m embarrassed that I was on Red Ice Radio. (The only people with podcasts smart enough to talk to are Mike and Sven.) And it is against my long term interests to be on the stage with MacDonald even if I agree with him – it’s negative – bitching about others.
It’s all the kind of mentally and emotionally ill bullshit I want to remove from the public order – and all of a sudden this thing has flipped around to where I’m a supporter of precisely what I work against.
And then rather than a panel where I can address these issues as a competitor, she wants me to play moderator, and *maybe* I will get to make my point.
I am slow, but I begin to see the pattern: Evola, Jorjani, Postmodern and Occult references, and anti-other-people hate rather than self-reformation.
Josh is mentally ill. Seriously mentally ill. Mentally ill enough that I should get a restraining order. Thankfully I have a recording of it so that I can get one if I need to. I don’t know who pseudorandom number is but he isn’t any better.
Megan asked me to ‘let josh back in’ and I trusted her to manage him. And what happens? Bill has to step in and control the lunacy, and then other people message me all day today that these people are seriously mentally handicapped.
I deal with ‘common folk’ as an experiment. I have been far too tolerant. Now, I’m going to be as intolerant as possible and narrow the entire follower set down.
I learned from working with many people like Joel and Rik, that even very few of the smart people are emotionally strong enough to deal with science alone. I’ve now learned that the occult side is just as emotionally weak. And I am looking for those people who are strong enough emotionally and intellectually.
I want to build an opposition to the frankfurt school. I do not want ‘followers’ who are physically, emotionally, or mentally immature or defective.
*One’s philosophy is measured by the people who follow it.*
I don’t want ‘followers’. I want fellow leaders, to take on the work of changing the world.
And the emotionally and mentally defective, and even the emotionally and mentally weak, are not people I want to reflect my work.
So as always, experiment a lot. But most experiments fail. And the value is failure is often higher than the value of success. And in this failure I have learned that it is time for an upgrade in the audience, and to return to a brand that is closer to my rather snobbish predisposition.
Cheers
Source date (UTC): 2017-08-05 15:52:00 UTC
by Jean Barresi
Sunday Morning
Curt is working on his book
Bart is writing a lesson plan for his course and preparing for his final presentation on Wednesday
I am writing a paper about teacher-led learning walks
At any point one of us is up, pacing, thinking, and bouncing ideas off of another.
A constant hum of keyboard tapping, whisperings and ramblings.
There’s abundant coffee and tea.
And we went to Neil’s Donuts for sustenance.
It’s adult-style dorm-life.
Source date (UTC): 2017-07-30 13:09:00 UTC
(Remembering in the very early 90’s, a big pitch at Microsoft, and Len Pacheco pushing me into (a) an 8:00am pitch – a bad idea, and (b) a project I thought we would fail at delivering, (c) a project – as was common – Microsoft wanted to pursue, but In my opinion was not in the company’s interest. And I am not and never have been enough of a whore to take money from a customer, and work long hours, for the sake of making money alone. So I was honest during the pitch, and not happy about being there, and clear about it, and we lost the sale, and the project was killed. And the rest of the management team was furious with me. And I simply didn’t care. It’s not like we were in ‘eating bugs’ mode. And why lose a 50M client, or even take the risk of it, and burn our staff, when it’s not in the customer’s interest? Hell, I told MSFT people that ideas were bad on a regular fucking basis. They don’t like it at the time. But you know. The ones who do like it eventually are the only customers you want to have. And they are the people whose careers you can advance. I realize there are bug eaters out there. But I want to always be the guy with the highest prices and the best reputation for success. And I am not sure I care whether people like me or not. I’m simply not that likable. My job is and always has been, to be right. Being likable is a commodity. Being right is a scarcity. You can charge for both, but you will end up being likable and cheap and right and expensive, and I would rather be expensive. High investment in customers. High investment in spouses. High investment in children. High investment in yourself. )
Source date (UTC): 2017-07-20 08:54:00 UTC
( porch. coffee. donuts. finches and mourning doves. writing. )
Source date (UTC): 2017-07-16 09:59:00 UTC
( Great insight with reward systems under acquisitionism. Then three or four days now where my brain is dead meat. Why? Stomach bug. Brains are fragile things. Exhausted by early afternoon. )
Source date (UTC): 2017-07-12 17:41:00 UTC