Curt Doolittle

Form: Diary

  • ( I find writing about technology cathartic.)

    ( I find writing about technology cathartic.)

    Source date (UTC): 2017-04-03 14:44:00 UTC

  • I am a very simple automaton. I am a bit of an aspie. I sense everything intense

    I am a very simple automaton. I am a bit of an aspie. I sense everything intensely. I like watching, and thinking.

    But I don’t like conflict. And unfortunately, I was raised in an angry, violent, unpredictable home that I sensed intensely. I was raised in time and place where violence among young men was expected and common. It was horrible. And inescapable. So I learned to fight, to fight often, and to fight with cunning, and vicious. (Mostly wrestle larger people to the ground and exhaust them.) As an adult I carried a gun almost all the time. They are great equalizers of size, and favor thought and calm.

    But amidst that chaos, anger, and violence I wanted to escape. I can’t empathize quite as much as everyone else, so I break everything into these tiny pieces that don’t require any empathy to test – they’re purely causal. And there is nothing left to reduce. I don’t have to rely on introspection or feelings.

    And that’s the secret you know.

    I just solved for ‘Can you damned ignorant idiots just fucking cooperate for mutual benefit so that I can be a hamster? Because as a quiet little hamster, I am too often the victim of your stupidity.’

    I just did it longer and harder than anyone else had. 😉

    And in the end, in my maturity, I understood that unless you raise the cost of not cooperating truthfully, by the threat of violence, that people simply are too damned lazy to learn enough about one another to identify opportunities for productive voluntary exchange.

    Ergo I evolved as a consequence of circumstances to explain the natural law of cooperation – and the dedication and confidence and will to punish the fucking hell out of everyone who even THINKS about breaking it.

    Source date (UTC): 2017-04-03 13:00:00 UTC

  • (my favorite coffee shop has wifi again! the small things that make life grand.

    (my favorite coffee shop has wifi again! the small things that make life grand. lol)

    Source date (UTC): 2017-03-24 14:30:00 UTC

  • ( Worked all day at the library. Both laptops. One for browser, one writing. Unp

    ( Worked all day at the library.

    Both laptops. One for browser, one writing.

    Unplugged, packed, walked home, and ….

    Boot then, Crash, Crash, Crash….. WTF.

    Spent past six hours or so trying to recover.

    I had checked in my code. (thankfully)

    Dropbox is (mostly up to date)

    I’ll definitely lose a few days. sigh.

    First time for me.

    Source date (UTC): 2017-03-22 23:38:00 UTC

  • i .. am… not .. productive … today. Love the god of binary. The god of binar

    i .. am… not .. productive … today.

    Love the god of binary.

    The god of binary is your friend – sometimes.

    He demands sacrifices of time.

    And he is angered by insults.

    He considers syntax errors insulting.

    I make as many typos in code as I do in verse…. lol

    I insult the god of binary all day long.

    sigh. lol

    Source date (UTC): 2017-03-22 16:25:00 UTC

  • ( home for a while. Daughters, sister, niece, and I, as well as our grandmother

    ( home for a while. Daughters, sister, niece, and I, as well as our grandmother to a lesser degree, all have some sort of social anxiety thing -a terrible intolerance for ‘dim people’. A terrible need for ‘logical’ order. But it’s so CALM to be together. Everything makes sense. No stupid things are said. fairly stoic people. I wonder what village life would have been like amongst kin? )

    Source date (UTC): 2017-03-17 13:41:00 UTC

  • I don’t know about other people but it takes me about three days of contemplatio

    I don’t know about other people but it takes me about three days of contemplation to get into the zone where I can produce any insight.

    Source date (UTC): 2017-03-11 19:55:00 UTC

  • ( I can finally code again today. thank god. going to go get some tests done and

    ( I can finally code again today. thank god. going to go get some tests done and see if its as simple as I’m carrying some infection around with me year after year. If I’m fine on anti-biotics and keep getting these bugs otherwise, doesn’t that gotta be it? is that what’s giving me the serious asthma? Did I ‘catch’ it in the hospital during surgery? Because that’s when it started, after surgery. )

    Source date (UTC): 2017-03-01 12:49:00 UTC

  • Going through photos of the architectural properties of my hometown. Victorian a

    Going through photos of the architectural properties of my hometown. Victorian and pre-depression. Trying to think of any post-depression architecture that beautifies the natural world. it’s not that there isn’t some – but that there isn’t much. One of the criteria for an architectural monument is that it must endure monumentally. Meaning retain their beauty without the maintaining hand of man. And by that requirement almost the entire twentieth century consists not of aristocratic architectural monuments(art), but bourgeois commercial fashion(design). The equivalent of glass tents.

    Source date (UTC): 2017-03-01 05:55:00 UTC

  • (Still sick. Can’t write. Can’t code. And so another day wasted.)…………. I

    (Still sick. Can’t write. Can’t code. And so another day wasted.)…………. I can’t afford all this downtime.

    Source date (UTC): 2017-02-27 07:56:00 UTC