What do you do when you come home and your significant other is cooking Italian in lingerie, and the table is set with burning candles?
God loves me today.
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-07 15:07:00 UTC
Form: Humor
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What do you do when you come home and your significant other is cooking Italian
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(Office antics) “No one takes me seriously. Have you noticed?” “No. We haven’t n
(Office antics)
“No one takes me seriously. Have you noticed?”
“No. We haven’t noticed.” (Laughter)
Sigh. Why am I such a great target for teasing? My whole life. lol. I guess that it means your staff is comfortable with you. (I think. I hope.)
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-07 10:12:00 UTC
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CULTURAL HUMOR (SANITIZED) My opinion: Ukrainian women are the not only the most
CULTURAL HUMOR (SANITIZED)
My opinion: Ukrainian women are the not only the most beautiful, but the most elegant and noble women in the world. Femininity is power. It is a power we men don’t have. This list doesn’t do the difference justice. It’s from a guy who wrote a book traveling here. But it’s a crass and humorous illustration of what is really a profound, gracious and elegant difference.
American girl: “What do you do?”
Ukrainian girl: “Why are you in Ukraine?”
American: Asks you to buy a drink
Ukrainian: Expects you to buy a drink
American: Flip flops because they’re comfortable
Ukrainian: High heels because men like them
American: 20 pounds overweight
Ukrainian: 5 pounds underweight
American: Looking for a stable career
Ukrainian: Looking for a stable husband
American: Won’t shut up
Ukrainian: Won’t open up
American: Hates makeup
Ukrainian: Qualified to be a makeup artist
American: Obsessed with celebrities
Ukrainian: Obsessed with money
American: Knows how to heat chicken nuggets
Ukrainian: Knows how to cook meals passed on from her grandmother
American: Pretends to be a porn star in bed
Ukrainian: Pretends to be a virgin in bed
American: Complains there are no good men
Ukrainian: Complains you didn’t buy her flowers
American: Feels uncomfortable with silence
Ukrainian: Feels uncomfortable with too much chatter
American: Treats you like a coworker
Ukrainian: Treats you like the master of her life
American: Relationship gets worse after first sex
Ukrainian: Relationship gets better after first sex
American: Never traveled but thinks she knows the world
Ukrainian: Never traveled and insecure about it
American: Obsessed with Apple
Ukrainian: Obsessed with Apple
American: Goes to supermarket in pajamas
Ukrainian: Goes to supermarket in mini skirt
American: Dresses like a bum even though she has money
Ukrainian: Dresses flashy even though she has no money
American: Sees men as misogynists who have institutional privilege
Ukrainian: Sees men as a bridge to a better life
American: Will believe anything you tell them
Ukrainian: Human lie detector
American: Pretend she’s strong and independent
Ukrainian: Knows she’s fragile and weak
American: Brags about dating multiple guys at the same time
Ukrainian: Brags about gifts that rich men bought her
American: Thinks lawyer are boring
Ukrainian: Thinks lawyers are accomplished men worthy of marriage
American: Goes out twice a week to clubs to get attention from men
Ukrainian: Goes out only once a month because she can’t afford it
American: Thinks casual sex and free birth control are essential to being happy
Ukrainian: Things marriage is essential to being happy
American: Fucks a guy who can make her vagina wet
Ukrainian: Fucks a guy who can improve her life in some way
American: Expert at taking webcam shots from magic angles
Ukrainian: Expert at posing sexy for photos in ugly park
American: Ideal man has to be witty, spontaneous, and interesting, with stand-up comedian level of humor
Ukrainian: Doesn’t care about a man’s personality as long as he has money
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-07 08:57:00 UTC
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“DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST TOTALITARIAN JUSTIFICATIONIST WANTED” Well. That’s the pro
“DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST TOTALITARIAN JUSTIFICATIONIST WANTED”
Well. That’s the proper translation of an ad I just recieved in my inbox. They’re seeking “German Political Theorists”.
Sigh.
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-07 05:40:00 UTC
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(SILLY) Ours is, “Nemo me impune lacessit.” – No one provokes me with impunity.
(SILLY)
Ours is, “Nemo me impune lacessit.” – No one provokes me with impunity.
Great family motto. Sort of, “Don’t do unto me, what you would not have done unto you twice.” Very… martial.
Don’t let anyone fool you. Revenge tastes sweet. 🙂
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-06 13:55:00 UTC
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(WHACKY) “You need to check into a good 12-step recovery program for Anti-White-
(WHACKY)
“You need to check into a good 12-step recovery program for Anti-White-Male…”
How do people come up with these things? lol Ridiculous. But I’ve gotta keep that one around for when I’m too lazy to really debate.
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-06 11:04:00 UTC
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INTELLECTUAL ARMS DEALERS My friend Andy Curzon and I have been chatting. He gav
INTELLECTUAL ARMS DEALERS
My friend Andy Curzon and I have been chatting. He gave me an idea. I thought the analogy of public intellectuals as intellectual arms dealers was humorous as well as true.
Every person I can give just ONE argument to (one bullet) by reducing complexity to some simple phrase or idea, is another intellectual weapon I’ve given away, to help the insurrection against totalitarianism.
I just wish I didn’t have to re-arm libertarians. They’re still using muskets. 😉
🙂
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-06 07:17:00 UTC
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(Sentimental Humor)
(Sentimental Humor)
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-05 02:02:00 UTC
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TURKEY CHILI? Mmmmm Guess Ill have to make some to show my support of the white
TURKEY CHILI? Mmmmm
Guess Ill have to make some to show my support of the white house in this time of sacrifice…
Well. Ok. Its just because I love turkey chili. But still…
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-04 10:26:00 UTC
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“ON THE FIRST DAY OF SHUT-DOWN MY TRUE LOVE SAID TO MEEEEEEE….” Is this like a
“ON THE FIRST DAY OF SHUT-DOWN MY TRUE LOVE SAID TO MEEEEEEE….”
Is this like a long holiday? Do we get to celebrate each day of Shutdown? A feast day? Can we start a shutdown celebration counter? Like, “It’s been X days since the last accident!” Sort of : “It’s been X Days Of Less Government”.
I would love to see a Time magazine cover: “A Year Of Shutdown”. Followed by the fact that it’s pretty obvious that non-essential personnel, are in fact, not essential. And that those jobs should be privatized. 😉
Source date (UTC): 2013-10-03 03:41:00 UTC