Form: Humor

“DARTH DOOLITTLE RETURNS…..” (img via Alexander Zavialov)

“DARTH DOOLITTLE RETURNS…..” (img via Alexander Zavialov)

(Humor. Holiday. Mother. Noting that I didn’t adequately rinse the measuring cup before putting it in the dishwasher. In a soft voice, this is what she said:) “Look. Look at this? How can you put this in a dishwasher? I have to re-do your work. I did all the right things. Got all the right sacrements. Did the best I could do with what I had to work with. And it was an uphill battle – not because of him – but because of the time and place. Then he went to college. Went into businesses. Had three marriages! It’s not my fault. I did the best I could. And here it is. The new year. And I find I haven’t yet succeeded in ‘straightening him out’. And I find that a disappointment in my life. And what do I get in my old age… my last years on earth? To be cajoled by a naughty, aged, little boy…. huh? I tried, God. I really tried. I gave it my all. It’s a shame. God bless, lord, it’s your job from here on out. I can’t do it. It’s one of those impossible earthly tasks. I know you understand … my dilemma. (He doesn’t listen to me anyway so it doesn’t matter what I say….) I offer it up. For days in purgatory. Lord help me do this. Should I intercede with St’ Jude the Impossible? Now I do not expect to see one crumb on the counter when I come back from my luncheon. I a martyr. A martyr. But I’ve decided to let go. To leave you to god’s charge…” (Catholicism teaches guilt with amazing … facility. Now, you know. My mother is the worst tease in the world. And people wonder where I get it from. lol. So, in retaliation, I will find a rather large crumb from the date-nut bread, and place it, perfectly in the middle of the counter.)

(Humor. Holiday. Mother. Noting that I didn’t adequately rinse the measuring cup before putting it in the dishwasher. In a soft voice, this is what she said:) “Look. Look at this? How can you put this in a dishwasher? I have to re-do your work. I did all the right things. Got all the right sacrements. Did the best I could do with what I had to work with. And it was an uphill battle – not because of him – but because of the time and place. Then he went to college. Went into businesses. Had three marriages! It’s not my fault. I did the best I could. And here it is. The new year. And I find I haven’t yet succeeded in ‘straightening him out’. And I find that a disappointment in my life. And what do I get in my old age… my last years on earth? To be cajoled by a naughty, aged, little boy…. huh? I tried, God. I really tried. I gave it my all. It’s a shame. God bless, lord, it’s your job from here on out. I can’t do it. It’s one of those impossible earthly tasks. I know you understand … my dilemma. (He doesn’t listen to me anyway so it doesn’t matter what I say….) I offer it up. For days in purgatory. Lord help me do this. Should I intercede with St’ Jude the Impossible? Now I do not expect to see one crumb on the counter when I come back from my luncheon. I a martyr. A martyr. But I’ve decided to let go. To leave you to god’s charge…” (Catholicism teaches guilt with amazing … facility. Now, you know. My mother is the worst tease in the world. And people wonder where I get it from. lol. So, in retaliation, I will find a rather large crumb from the date-nut bread, and place it, perfectly in the middle of the counter.)