Theme: Sex Differences

October 19th, 2018 5:28 PM

—“I’d pay good money to read your sex column.”— Kevin Wu

[I] don’t think so. A relationship column I can do. Sex I don’t think I’m anything special at all, or any one to listen to, other than I know how to talk about it, and I’ve had a bunch of relationships. I have friends who go through model-quality-women like snowplows on the highway in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. That’s not me. I like fit nerdy girls and I’m monogamous by nature and preference. 😉 I was raised in the “joy of sex” generation of get high and relax through it all – which like everything else in the sixties and seventies was nonsense. Had to learn the hard way. Everything you need to understand about sex can be encapsulated in one quote from one woman of outsized experience: “The dumb, young, athletic ones are better because they think less, follow instinct more and are closer to gorillas – they get the job done. Everything else is romance, and build up.” Feel your way thru sex using your entire sensory system and hers – don’t think it. That’s what they do. Women are not projects, objects, or prey. They are partners in family, and friends with benefits. You win them indirectly by being valuable and interesting, and making them feel safe to ‘feel’. Play a sport no matter how stupid to keep fit, keep some man friends either recreational or business, and make sure her friends are jealous of how you take care of her. Be a Prince to her friends, a gentleman with her, and a gorilla in the bedroom, and finish her first. The first time you score, exhaust her completely. That’s it. The rest is being friends. Don’t try to understand women. They aren’t men. Just love them. Say no to what you need to. Don’t disagree on preference or good, just can or cannot, will and will not. And when they treat you like a girlfriend rather than a man then come down hard on that limit. Listen and say you understand. Learn to half-listen. Dont judge. Ask a few questions when you don’t undrestand. Support her ambitions. Respect her within the limits you set. Do stuff together. Friendships are built and maintained through shared experiences. Do things with other couples to keep from making it tedious. Do stuff apart from each other so you have things to talk about. Do not get into debt or too many hours of work, or too much stress that you can’t do all of the above comfortably. Don’t get too much house or more kids than the two of you can manage. Live and work near family so that grandparents share in the kids. I could afford a 40K year child/nanny expense. Most people can’t. Grandparents are worth about that much income. My ‘thing’ is to learn what makes them look good and buy clothes for them. Other guys its doing stuff for them. This tells them constantly that she is on your mind. My wife and I talked at least once a day from the office if not more. It’s not complicated. That said, I still failed. I would have been fine and still married to that amazing woman, but two bouts of cancer and the illness between them and the contraction of the market while having a child I wasn’t ready for, just were too much for me. I’m only freaking human. We live and learn.