Theme: Incentives

MUST BE A FULL MOON.

(I have a handful of windows open all asking about relationship advice.)

COST

Men are emotinally expensive for women, just like women are economically expensive for men.

CHOICES

Women are not ‘looser’ than they were in the past, only than in the recent past. What they are is more economically indpendent and men are less valuable to them. Moreover we are now forming relationships largely on shared entertainment interests rather than shared economic necessity. So men are less valuable. So what has occurred is that both sexes are using current economic conditions (that are changing rapidly) to be more selective if they have options, and more impulsive if they don’t.

JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

She’s just not that into you. He’s just not that into you.

Gender doesn’t matter. It works the same, both ways.

You can try as hard as you want. But once you figure out that he or she is not as into you as you are into him or her, you’ve found a pretty serious problem.

Because it will only get worse. Relationships wax and wane. And unless there is enough attraction, the weak parts create easy points of failure. And the person with the lowest interest is the one who will break.

Both women and men excel at wishful thinking.

But you can’t wish people to feel other than they do.

And if you must work hard for their attention, over time, then you will get less and less of it. Not only because they will be less responsive to your desires, but because you will be less willing to work for that attention.

It is what it is.

Relationships are only useful for very short romance, or very long security. The middle ground is always disappointing.

Find someone you want to be with for the long haul.