Theme: Agency

“THE TALK” FOR WOMEN

—RE: “In priority she is higher for us and her children are higher for her.” I Had this fight many times. I am a monster apparently.” — Jerrick Harald

1) I am a man. You are a woman. We are different. We are not the same. We are not equal. We are compatible. In our compatibility we can make each other better and happier than each of us can be alone. We have interests. I have interests. You have interests. We have shared interests. You likely cannot understand many of my interests. I will appreciate your interests. You can only appreciate that my interests that differ from yours are as important to me as those that differ from mine are as important to you. I am a man. I have a man’s interests. And I will devote my time to my interests, you will devote your time to your interests, and we will devote our time to our shared interests. Hopefully we have and we create many shared interests.

2) If you want a woman to live with, get your mother or a sister, or share a home with another woman – one that you will fight with all the time for alpha bitch status. If you want a compliant male to share a home with, to tread your wants first among others, and to treat your children first among all others, then you need to understand that the price of that compliance is a man, and a man is not a woman. So you cannot have the luxury of both a man and a woman unless you can coerce your mother to live with you, since she is the only woman who will not try to dominate you for the benefit of herself and her children – if you’re lucky. I am a man.

3) You women have a tribe of children. We men have a tribe of women and their children. We both gain a tribal monopoly thru marriage. I fight no other men for dominance and priority for sex and affection. You fight no other women for dominance and priority for you and your children. This is the smallest tribe we can both construct under which we are both alphas and both obtain what we require for survival and reproduction.

4) So, I am not a life support system for a vagina or its outputs. I am a man. I assist in making your life better than it would be otherwise; and you assist in making my life better than it would be otherwise. Either a relationship is of continuous value to me, in sex, affection, care, friendship, economic utility, and late life insurance, or it is not. I expect you to find the same.

5) My function as a man, is to provide defense, resources, friendship, affection, care, sex, and to manipulate the exterior world for your benefit in exchange for friendship, affection, care, sex, and your manipulation of the nest for my benefit.

6) I am not a girlfriend. I am a man. I solve problems. I understand facts, not experiences. I gain nothing from experiences – they merely confuse and annoy me. I cannot share many of your feelings, I can only appreciate and respect them. I try to make you happy in exchange for rewards of appreciation. I enjoy making you happy. I listen for ways to make you happy. I prefer if you do not ask me to guess. And I prefer that you ask rather than expect me to remember. And while you train children by reminding, every time you nag me I take it as a criticism not help.

7) This is honestly spoken. This is truth. We can color this truth in romantic promises so that our emotions convey additional weight. However, everything else is just a comforting lie, and comforting lies are a means of obtaining what one desires without paying for it, or constructing a promise that current asymmetries will be paid for with future returns.

8) Women lie for resources and status and men lie for sex. But there is no reason to lie unless we try to obtain an unearned discount.

9) But history illustrates that men are more sentimental and loyal than women in all walks of life. And if you will enter into this agreement with me for the long term, I will enter into it with you for the long term, and I will not break it if you do not break it.