Source: Facebook

THE JOY OF SEX ERA, THE PORN ERA, AND THE REALITY IN THE MIDDLE.

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In my demographic were were trained by “the Joy of Sex” movement – the current incarnation of that strategy is ‘tantric’ sex. Slow and romantic.

The past generation has been trained by pornography. Rather aggressive, and … classless

The truth is somewhere in the middle.

Best advice I ever got came in parts from one of those guys who despite being near forty, keeps literally dozens of women going at any one point:

– Spend the whole day or more in seduction starting with clear suggestions, and followed infrequently by subtle suggestions. I have a very, very, hard time turning my brain off. I can’t imagine what it’s like for women to shut it off. it’s freaking chaos in their heads at all times anyway. So help them.

– The first time, you must blow her mind, and leave her exhausted. The memory has to stick. This I have found true.

– The inner woman desires your inner gorilla. Same for women and men: ladies and gentlemen in public, gorillas in bed. But mix it up. One issue is that a lot of sexual excitement comes from novelty (which is why studies of frequent porn users is discouraging for lovers, but probably good for crime rates and prostate glands.) so without mixing it up you must lose interest over time – unless it is primarily an act of intimacy.

If you listen to, and submit to, your inner gorilla, and use your WHOLE body, rather than either overthinking at one end of the spectrum, or just ‘using your dick as a spear’ on the other end of the spectrum; and then when you get ‘close’, then slow down, use the rest of your body, and prolong it – I think of running in sprints – you’re generally going to do well for your other half.

For couples:

– Have sex as often as possible so that it’s a desired habit – an outlet you depend upon, and not an effort in seduction to get started ’cause that will end. That way when either of you is stressed you want each other, and that’s good. I knew an older couple with a lot of kids that snuck off to a hotel for a night once a month to keep it lively. It seemed to work.

– Never go to bed angry. And keep the sex dirty and the arguments clean.

– The relationship has to outlive the kids. Many women fuck this up. Kids are often easier (cheap) sources of affection. But they grow up and leave. Meanwhile you didn’t maintain your husband and he’s now trained to not want or contribute affection. Keeping a family cannot be done without a woman watering all in it with affection. So it’s not that your husband is helping you with the kids. Its that your husband wants you for affection just like your kids, not because he intrinsically gets the same joy from them that you do. He might get some. But a mother’s joy is a chemical dependency created by evolution and men do not have it. We think about the tribe, our mates, and the kids, with relatively equal weight. Women specialize in kids and mates, and the tribe is usually not even in her mind.

Anyway. Maybe that will help someone. I dunno. I wish someone had told me all that when I was sixteen. lol.

Cheers

(BTW: Just so I don’t sound like a know-it-all, or because I think I’m some kind of stud or something, cause i’m neither: I’ve been in almost nothing but long term relationships, I am probably a little less interest in sex than average – and more in intimacy – so its more of a romantic thing for me. And my life’s challenge is that asthma is not your friend at these most important of moments and must be managed. So that’s my preemptive counter to the peanut gallery’s potential criticisms that I think I’m full of myself or something.)

Oh and women are full of shit. Ferraris work. Sorry. They do.