Form: Humor

RUSSIAN AND AMERICAN METHODS COMPATIBLE

Did you know that people with high fat content, and who are heavy drinkers, under the right conditions, can be used to create the wick effect we see in spontaneous human combustion – and that they’ll burn slowly for many many hours?

However, the wicking effect can be created intentionally by splitting the skin, exposing the fat, inserting wicking material, and lighting it with a smoldering source of flame such as coal, charcoal, rope, cloth, or cigarette.

Just sayin’ that in the sequence of:

a) guillotining (by knife, sword, axe, or guillotine

b) hanging (short-drop strangling and long-drop neck breaking forms)

c) impaling (in both abdominal and anal forms)

d) crucifixion (in its many forms)

e) burning at the stake (in its many forms)

we can add:

f) ‘wicking’, which I assume must be a pretty horrible way to go, since burning slowly alive and watching it has got to be pretty horrible.

The guillotine is more of an ‘industrial’ solution requiring very little effort and expense, while still providing civic entertainment for the many.

Long drop hanging of 8-10 feet is pretty rewarding and less messy.

I have this feeling americans would be more Organized about housecleaning, and the Russians would be more enthusiastic and, well, entertaining.