Form: Diary

While I still prefer Portugal, and while as an activist I should at least contemplate proximity to DC (VA), at present it seems like TX or WA to ‘be with the men’. ;).

OK. I got work to do today. Unfortunately, the interesting questions are like shiny objects to the attention-crow in my autistic subconscious. So, I’ve gotta hide the Twitter window until I need a break.

Love all you crazy humans. At least the vast majority of the time. 😉

(Diary – Health and Work Update)
Don’t want to really share too much ’cause I share too much already, but now that I’m healthy ‘enough’ I think I’ve got my arms around this work capacity problem well enough to produce a sort of daily ritual that I can continue with regularity.
I think Brad convinced me today that we can finish before the end of the year with what we’re calling the pamphlet (but which in my mind is ‘the logic’) and is quite a subset of the larger ‘science’. We really do have the format and the organization down, and the rest of the book is already stubbed out. So, I assume if nothing ‘goes wrong’ that’s probably true. 😉 (Cross fingers pls)
It’s going much faster now. I can work with brad for two or three hours, then take a lunch break and work for a few more and it’s still productive. The key is that I have to stop before dinner, and do something else. And then figure out how to work exercise back into this ritual. Because if I can up my exercise, lower my weight I think I can be good to go for a few more years of work. 😉
Cheers

(Diary)
Sorry if I’m over-sharing but there are people who care that I continue and complete my work and I feel obligated to respond to their support.
So, a side effect of recovering most of my health and the vast majority of my cognitive faculties, is that I have the emotional capacity to remember and experience how much I love you and all of mankind, and want to protect and serve you the best I can.
Yes, the fringes exasperate me, and I ‘have my days’ so to speak but I do what I do out of love for my people and mankind and our potential to evolve into the gods we imagined despite the enemies of man, nature and the cosmos that all but conspire against us. Else I would not have sacrificed all that I have to do the work I’ve done.
Hugs all
Again, thanks for sharing the journey.
-CD

(Diary)
Health update.
Ok. for about two weeks now I feel my cognitive abilities are almost restored completely. I can’t work as long as I could, but that’s probably reasonable for my age. But at least at present ‘the words’ come without the struggle of the past few years of illness and I can work at a sustained pace for three or more hours at a time.
Thanks for the patience and support from all of you.
I’m forever deeply grateful.
-CD

(Diary)
I can feel my lips again.
You know, going to the dentist as a kid, pre-novocain was traumatic. These days, you know, it’s hard to tell the difference between a cleaning and a filling. 😉

And yes, given that it’s now a business captured by women means I can turn the office into a comedy show. 😉

Her: “Hi I’m (name). I’ll be working with you today.”
Me: “Not possible. You’re too pretty to be a doctor.”
Assistant (sorta-friend from Romania): “Well, what should she be then?” (she’s cunning)
Me: “I walked into that one.” 😉

I love science. 😉

(Diary)
Life’s silly decisions: a lack of foresight
So, two shots of Novocain at the dentist this morning, and then walk across the street to starbucks to order a coffee, only to realize upon receiving said coffee that I can’t drink it because my lips are numb – and I’ll wear it if I try. ;). Despite knowing this it didn’t register enough to resist the drive to get that coffee. lol

Sigh. 😉

(Diary)
Walking on air right now, because working with brad this week, including wednesday evening, was so exceptionally productive. Great progress. My faculties have, for the most part, returned, and brad’s skill at the method and it’s application is extraordinary – plus he is…

(Diary)
WOMEN IN ONE’S LIFE
My college girlfriend, from Manhattan then Westchester, married well, and produced a body of art, that while not exceptional to the amateur is of quality and marketability in the style’s tradition, and consistent with her student work. It’s in galleries and collections in both the USA and Europe. And, wonderfully, while she’s in her early sixties, she is still quite beautiful. 😉

While I’ve had multiple LTRs and marriages, including one of twenty years that might still survive had I chosen a simpler life and not had cancer, I have had only two great loves in my life – which is twice as much as anyone has an opportunity or right to – and she was the first one.

I love my ex’s as much as I love my children and my step children. I don’t need attention or validation or anything from them other than that I know they are happy and successful.

And given the loyalty, sentimentality and romanticism are the domain of men, and only devotion the domain of women, we should never expect those women we have ‘shared our time with’ to do other than find reasons not to maintain attention, consideration, or care from them.

Women live in-time, and men live over-time and women’s temporality if it exists is limited to their children.

As men, we love them anyway.
And as it is their nature as women.
We should expect nothing more of them, or ourselves.

Affections
CD