Form: Diary

I just don’t feel like making this argument on christmas…

(Christmas Thoughts)

Allora and I would share christmas parties with a lot of northwest artists. There were variations on a theme, but often we would make a christmas ornament. And we would exchange them by drawing slips of paper. One year I had a bit of time, so I made my ornament of a very fat, very naked santa sculpture out of oven-drying clay – about eight inches tall.
The woman who won it was a bit horrified because she had a daughter that might see it. I told her I’d take it or she could trade it with someone else. I don’t recall what happened but she went away a bit off.
Artists are not necessarily all that bright, it’s the occupation of a type of character more than intelligence. They’re generally good people if left leaning. Eventually when we started arriving to social groups in a ferrari they began to distance themselves from us because we were ‘different’ (meaning not poor starving artists).
I don’t care. Good people are good people, and the people in the working, lower middle, to middle classes appear to be the most moral people – something which can not only inspire the christmas spirit, but encourage noblesse oblige toward them in those of us who rise to different status. Conversely, disdain for them is the antithesis of character – the absence of it.

Merry Christmas. 😉

(Divorces)
I’ve had two ‘real’ marriages (4 yrs, 20yrs) and one of legal necessity (2 yrs). Otherwise every relationship has been effectively long term with the prospect of marriage on the table.
Four of my five long term ex’s married or remarried men more suitable to them and they have (at least from the outside) remained happily married. Usually women change faster than men, but in my case I changed faster than women.
However those ex’s almost all gen-x.
I would never ever encourage a man to marry a woman from the Millenial or Z generations, and I have doubts about the Alpha generation.
One benefit is that conservatives are already outbreeding the progressives. And I’m wondering how this plays out over time. I can see .. oh, maybe six or eight different futures depending upon how distinct the differences.

(Diary)
Usual rainy day in western washington. Running below empty, I pull in to the gas station. A Loomis truck is parked outside collecting cash, and the doors are locked. From outside through the glass I salute the driver and give thumbs up and he relaxes. A woman finishes pumping nine dollars worth of gas. Fumbles with her phone, purse and cards, and approaches the door as well. Her attire, body language, and facial lines tell a story of someone on the margin who maintains responsibility for herself and suffers through her limitations quietly. I tell her that the cash truck is here and it’ll take a minute or two before they’ll let us in.
When the loomis guard leaves, the cashier unlocks our door, and I say “ladies first” to this woman.
I’m not exactly sure what happened but something akin to the prepaid card booked the gas and for some reason she was stressed about money – I think, just to buy a pack of cigarettes.
I asked the clerk to reset the pump and explain something about the user interface, thanked her and left to pump the gas.
I walk out and this distressed woman asks if I can give her five dollars. I smile, say “of course dear” tell here that we have to take care of one another, flip through the little cash I’m carrying and giver her a five. She tears up and hugs me.
Now, aside from feeling I did my good deed for the day, I”m exasperated. Because this woman doesn’t have seven kids from seven baby daddies, she is responsible for herself, she lacks the capacity for responsibility for others and capital of the higher classes, but she is good christian and american citizen.
And I feel rage that we are abandoning these people across the country, and pandering to immigrants and those who won’t integrate, and those leftists who are selfish, and those credentialists that are simply thieves.
And I want, with every fiber in me, to correct this injustice – and if necessary by ‘aggressively unpleasant’ means.

Love you all.
I’ve had enough.