Category: Personal Reflections and Diary

I’ve been going to bed early and sleeping late for almost four weeks now and its just beginning to make a difference. Burnout sucks. And I keep doing it. Doesn’t ambition come with a regulator? I don’t seem to be able to find mine.

Having an asthma problem this morning, (coughing a bit) and the waitress, of her own volition, without asking, brings me a glass of hot milk, and stands over me while I drink it – rapidly curing the problem.

I love these freaking people. I remember when women in america did those things.

Been too stressed to thank all my friends lately. But thank all of you for helping me on this journey.

The past year has not been one of technical insights, because religion and history have been my main focus. It’s actually much harder than the work I did on truth, because it’s so intangible.

I could not have made this progress without all your help.

Over the past year, I have been unfortunately too caught up in the Trump phenomenon, and too caught up in the alt-right. And this has affected my work. I’ve tried to distance myself from the negativity over the past two months. And that’s helping a little. But I have to keep my eye on the long game and not get all wound up in current events.

While we all desire attention and most of us validation from popularity, it can also be a distraction – a malincentive.

So I am going to try to continue to focus on getting the book out. Given the size of it, I still might take roman’s advice and put out a summary paper first. I didn’t because I’m afraid it might anchor me one way or the other, the same way talking about books anchors all other authors.

As the fallacy of the 20th century falls apart thanks to Obama’s disorganized contraction of US Power, the reassertion of both russia and the east, and the rapid falls of the middle east and south american promises, the chaos has increased demand for certainty and therefore authority.

I am at heart, a libertarian in the tradition of aryanism both good and bad. and I am not fond of authority. Just the opposite. I’m an advocate for destroying authority so that only demonstrated excellence prevails.

Anyway, that said, again, thank all of you for helping me work through these issues. Thanks for good criticism especially. But also thank you for support when I sort of lose my juice.

Cheers

( Diary.)

As I continue to recover from my overwork/burnout on the product this winter, I understand that here in Ukraine the vitamin D deficiency in winter, and the long dark, is actually harder on me than in Seattle. The food and culture are awesome. But, if I look at myself in winter photos, I’m dehydrated, tired, clearly not sleeping well. and I look in the mirror today and I look five years younger. Ukraine has been great for my health. It’s been great for my soul. But it’s not the improvement over (dreary, raining, dark) Seattle that I’d hoped. Sigh.