Q&A: ON PORN – A LITTLE IS ONE THING, TOO MUCH IS A VERY BAD THING
—“Hey Mr. Doolittle. I love your work. If you don’t mind, could you do one of your famous write-ups on the harm of pornography?”—-
Porn is bad for (most) men really. Cuts our dominance and aggression dramatically, and our ambition along with it; and if you watch it enough it will hurt your libido just like many recreational drugs will hurt your pleasure receptors – perhaps permanently.
This has largely to do with the problem of novelty. Male arousal is largely a function of novelty. This is why good relationships combine frequent easy ‘nightly’ sex, with ‘novelty’ (like in places we shouldn’t have sex, or having sex under sneaky but fun circumstances.)
So frequently ‘using’ porn, ‘desensitizes’ your libido and forces you to search for ever increasing novelty to provoke a response. If you do this enough, then it is increasingly difficult to obtain a state of arousal or even ‘interest’ in real life. ESPECIALLY with your stable girlfriend/wife – and this is the problem. You can compensate by avoiding alcohol and pot. You can compensate a bit by physical exercise and competition, but the porn will draw down your desire for it. You can compensate by avoiding it entirely for six months or more. As far as I know you can get past it entirely if you stay away from it for three to four years (which is about duration of the human forgetting curve). But I haven’t seen good data other than about two thirds of men respond positively to long term avoidance of porn.
(Good research esp, out of Italy.)
HOWEVER, there is also research to suggest that the drop in crime among those men with TOO MUCH testosterone (you know who) has a lot to do with the availability of free porn, cheap high fat food loaded with MSG, cable television and video games, more so than any other phenomenon.
And it seems like now-and-then use of porn in your teens, can seriously help release the stress of being a young male. Which honestly, is distracting as hell, and in my memory, was a constant source of aggressive thoughts.
So you know, it’s one of those good and bad things.
If you’re in a regular relationship do not use it, and instead, be a little more creative. Porn is a cheap and easy spice for sex with your regular girl. But you pay for the discount. Instead, try higher investment activities: new places, higher risk, more kinky, or the old fashioned way: more sensual and attentive. (Although my generation was over-taught that strategy).
We have some interesting information from the past few decades of data collection, and it turns out that women like the ‘lower class’ men at times because they ‘think less and feel more’ and do it more aggressively. And just as a woman has a harder time ‘letting go’ in order to ‘get there’, men have to re-learn to ‘let go’ and get her there.
So when with her friends, love your inner gentleman. When you’re arousing, love your inner romantic, and play the romance game. But when in the heat of it, love your inner Gorilla. Surrender to him. Let him go. Use every drop of strength you have to move her. Girls don’t break all that easily. And most of them like the thrill of it. Just how it is.
RUN A BIT.
SPRINT A BIT
PLAY A LITTLE PAINTBALL
LIFT VERY HEAVY THINGS WITH YOUR WHOLE BODY
READ A NON-FICTION BOOK.
GENTLEMAN/ROMANCE/AND GORILLA THE HELL OUT OF HER.
Cheers.
Source date (UTC): 2016-11-30 11:51:00 UTC