May 2, 2020, 7:01 PM

Things I know how to do that seem to work.

– Be funny.

– Be affectionate.

– Be supportive constantly

– Listen when necessary

– Be a gentleman when necessary.

– Make her look good to her friends.

– Be tasteful.

– Make money.

– Fix things.

– Lift heavy things.

– Be scary when necessary.

– Make her coffee.

– Rub her feet.

– Wash her hair.

– Feed her chocolate

– Bring flowers.

– Buy her clothes.

– Cook (a lot)

– Do Laundry. Dust. Vacuum. Sew buttons etc now and then.

Things I know I do that don’t seem to work.

– Avoid shopping without threats of bodily harm.

– Forget everything it’s possible to forget. (Everything)

– Leave my clothes next to the bed.

– Pile papers and books on my desk.

– Forget to turn off CEO-Me

– Forget to turn off Philosopher-Me

– Pretend I don’t know the answer or how to do it.

– Ignore all attempts to ‘alter my priorities’

– Express more frustration at being interrupted.

– Fail to ignore stupidity

– Appreciate beautiful women now and then.