Me: (Talking to myself, after experiencing one of my daily guilt pangs) “I hate

Me: (Talking to myself, after experiencing one of my daily guilt pangs) “I hate turning down women. I hate it. Every time.”
Little Old Lady: (overhears) “Is that why you never do it?” (cackles)
Me: “You are a cold-hearted woman”.

Seriously though.
(Not the same for women.)