It has taken most of my life. From the age of twelve. I had no other goal. Every

It has taken most of my life. From the age of twelve. I had no other goal. Everything else was just means of furthering that promise – that end. I went on and off the path. But after my illnesses I felt I had no more time to dally. I had meagre ambitions. Eventually I saw the possibility. But it has only been in the past six months that i have begun to understand the history of our people, and of mankind, as a god’s research program, where almost all of the experiments failed. But just as I did not devote myself fully until pressured by possibility of fatal illness, we do not devote ourselves until pressured by the possibility of fatality of our civilization. But once threatened we concentrate our efforts, and with full thought, effort, and fury, pour ourselves into them, and in doing so take one step closer to sitting at the table with the gods we desire to be.