IN FAIRNESS TO BOTH SEXES – WE MISREPRESENT EACH OTHER’S PERSPECTIVES> So true.

IN FAIRNESS TO BOTH SEXES – WE MISREPRESENT EACH OTHER’S PERSPECTIVES>

So true. Women want, and often need, to vent their emotions. And to organize them, so that they can self-correct them. It’s much harder to be a woman than a man. Our minds are much less cluttered. I think of our function in a relationship as helping women bail out the boat, so that it’s floating on it’s own enough that they can pilot it in the waves. Once we’ve bailed out the boat, you can often suggest ideas. but it is important that women feel the solution is their own, and that they do not have to fight their emotions to adopt it. A woman cannot suppress the chaos in her mind and emotions, any more than we can suppress our anxiety about various threats. In our case we need care-taking so that we can restore our energy and therefore will to continue fighting. Women need to have their emotions bailed out so that they can think straight. It’s the same problem for both sides. It’s just that our stress is low level and pre-cognitive, and theirs is high level and dominates their ability to think. So we both need ‘restoration’. The problem in both cases is to provide one another with the energy with which to deal with stresses. It is not in itself to solve the problem. We can usually solve our problems if we have the emotional wherewithal to solve them. It is this wherewithal that we give to each other. Albeit in different ways.