OK. I’m going to do this with ‘mischief’. Because I have a sort of thing for mis

OK. I’m going to do this with ‘mischief’. Because I have a sort of thing for mischief. 🙂

1) I was born in Connecticut, grew up in a little victorian town in western new york, and returned to CT for late high school.

2) A friend and I accidentally lit the county’s largest brush fire playing with firecrackers. I ran about a mile or two home. When i called the fire department from home they didn’t believe me. They though it was a prank call. “Where is it?” They asked. “What do you mean? It’s not like you can’ find it. The whole field is on fire!” “you better go out there and show the firemen” “What? You mean you can’t see it from downtown?” Perils of a slightly autistic childhood. Adults always seemed incredibly stupid to me.

3) A friend and I, at age 12, overheard some kids our age planning to have a ‘party’. We made a ‘bug’ from a microphone and tape recorder and bugged the room. Great audio. Went around playing it for friends. Never occurred to us that anyone would rat. The girls ended up sleeping in a barn for a week because the whole town eventually knew about it. First time I got in completely over my head.

4) I studied fine art, art history and art theory in college. My best paper was on the demarcation between Art, Design and Craft. My favorite project was a small package that looked like it had been shipped across the world by gorillas, but that yelled at you if you touched it. (recording).

6) Getting, um, “rigorous physical exercise” in the antiquities room at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston with an unnamed female friend during regular hours. I really didn’t care if we got caught. I was disappointed. It meant that the story wasn’t as good. And one of your goals in life is to collect good stories.

7) I have driven at 150 mph at both ends of I90. On the east coast my wheel-nuts started coming off. I had two left when I finally stopped. On the west coast I drove that fast as a daily occurrence, whenever the weather was good. Never got a ticket. Every ticket I did get was for going seven MPH or less over the limit in a suburban area.

8) I have crawled through ceilings and ducting to ‘get into’ offices to ‘open’ files and obtain evidence of fraudulent use of government funds and tax evasion. (B&E for a good cause. The ‘perp’ went from Bentley to Yamaha overnight. The state is evil.) I had previously taken out this person’s main competitor by similar means, using the Justice Department and the Postal inspector. Mercedes to Volkswagen in 30 days. But afterward I decided I wanted to leave the industry anyway.

9) I never use credit cards. I think they are a criminal enterprise designed to enslave the population with consumer credit and achieve with fiat money, what neither law nor religion, nor opium had previously managed to accomplish. If I don’t have the cash I don’t do it.

10) I have fired, in the past decade, something like 300 people. And I’m really good at it. No one ever cries. No one is ever angry. And it always goes positively.