Theme: Sex Differences

WHY DO WOMEN HATE MEN WHEN THEY END A RELATIONSHIP?

—“Curt I must ask about something you related a while back. About how a woman can detach and so hate a man, viewing him as a subhuman worthy of almost any Ill. Yet men like you or I cannot bear such a notion, even to these very women after having deeply caring for them. Why do you feel that is?”—GS

1) Males are dependent upon the success of the tribe. Females on the success of their offspring. Mates are Temporary Alliances, while Tribe and Offspring are Permanent Genetic Necessities. For this reason, Male love is driven by loyalty, Female by devotion. Absent devotion women have no loyalty. Loyalty (infrequent exercise of) is more durable but less costly than devotion (constant exercise). This is the explanation. The rest is consequence.

2) Females evolved for their children not men. Men ‘rotate’, lose their value, or die off. Children remain. … forever. Males evolved to rotate women and monogamy is a … norm, not a necessity. Men will kill over mates more so than any other reason. We retain ‘value’ to retain ‘opportunity’.

3) Poisoning the well (socially) for a lost or discarded man forces a cost on him and trains him that losing a woman is costly in future opportunities – so stay with them. It also eliminates the cost of keeping him ‘away’ (resisting his advances) and creating an opportunity for new or other males to make advances without fear of violence or conflict.

4) Women ‘fight’ to the death because they are so comparatively vulnerable to ostracization, but they fight by reputation destruction to CAUSE ostracization (from opportunity) – so women engage in wars of reputation destruction, with the vehemence of it determined by the social status (social and sexual market value) differences providing ammunition. Upper not caring. Lower not caring as much, but peers caring greatly.

5) (This topic is harder to understand) Men are more dependent upon their economic, political, and military value for less of their lifetimes. (think sprinting) Men are faster and stronger but cheaper and more disposable. Women are more dependent upon their sexual, caretaking, and social value for three generations. (think marathoning). Women are generally a good bet for men. Men are a riskier investment for women. Women are more expensive and less disposable. Losing a man by choice or accident is a kind of failure for women. It’s a Loss for men, less so a failure. A Failure for Women far more so than a loss.

6) Women’s hatred of men is a way of controlling their impulsive emotions so that they do not have to bear the cost of unpleasant feelings, and anger, hatred, blame, allow the intentional suppression of those feelings. Men don’t have the problem of emotional lack of agency.

I hope that helps.

-Curt

—“This explanation in such terms is both troubling on an emotional level, but that will pass and help me with the knowing of it. Moreover its immensely pleasing on a visceral level to have it laid out in such an orderly way, as a fellow autist I genuinely appreciate it. Please do post this if you haven’t. Thank you for this and all you do.”—GS