Source: Facebook

THE GENERATION DOOMED TO THE ISLAND OF MISFIT CODE

(tech stuff) (captain obvious) (venting) (typescript)(omg) (rant)

Do you know what it will cost to rewrite this generation of code? omg.

This is like polluting the water. or land or sea. it’s freaking expensive to clean up. WAAAAY expensive to clean up.

You know why norms are a good thing? They stop us from doing stupid sh-t over and over again and exporting the cost of our stupid sh-t to others and society.

norms develop for a reason: to encapsulate knowledge so that we don’t export costs.

ANYWAY….

I am not happy with the ES6 syntax structure, which is a sort of half-achieved bit of nonsense.

const Foo = () => ({

bar() {

console.log(‘bar’);

}

});

Are you kidding me? God invented compilers for a reason. I used to write in IBM360, and 6809E assembly code, and it was less prone to syntax errors. lol. We need LINTERS? Are you fking kidding? We need to write how many layers of tests to compensate for sh-t languages and operating systems (browsers)? I have how many plugins to compensate for sh-t technology?

Do you have any idea how hard it is to debug all this sh-t code out there? omg….. it’s like we graduate people from university who create code movements without grasping that coding is a TRADE, and this shit trickles down into the masses of butt-crack programmers out there. So what they do at the top 1% of companies with the top 20% of tech graduates is very different from what happens in the rest of the damned world. OMG. And you thought the Y2K thing was a joke.. Back then we made a 100M+ a year business out of converting that sh-t … and you can freaking READ it.

Look. Programming can be operational (imperative) or functional (declarative), and the rest is design patterns. The difference between these two styles is not aesthetic. It’s whether you’re working on calculating the rotations of positions of stars / generating a 3d world at 200fps, versus writing an application program for humans to operate and maintain. Yeah. It’s good that google and FB need to generate much less use of memory (functional programming) but they are creating their own LANGUAGES (Dart). Meanwhile we have a trove of idiots trying to use a 40 year old design pattern (game engine with state engine) with new-age names (react/flux/redux/mobx) written as a hack on top of a langauge totally unsuited for it.

OMG. Passing functions is one thing. Conflating functions and parameters is something else.

NET/NET: If you are saving memory by obscuring readability and information hiding, then you are working with sh-t technology. you are not smart. you are not cunning. you are not creative. you are just f-king ignorant. (sigh)

And yeah. I know. Programmers can milk money out of all sorts of organizations whenever morons are stupid enough to spend money on a ‘hot new technology’. Yes, I understand we are making a lot of money because FB/GOOGLE/MSFT are exporting internal costs on the entire freaking world. If that isn’t enough to quadruple their taxes I don’t know what is….

CAPTAIN OBVIOUS

But I will stick with the rather obvious statements:

– calculations/transformations = functional

– pure functions = stateless = good.

– nouns = object oriented / (prototype or inherited)

– verbs = message queues better than events.

– adjectives = callbacks = really,really, trouble me, prefer passing references to functions and explictly calling them.

– grammar = command processor (react ‘reducers)

– memories = data structures = databases = (react ‘stores’)

– context = globals should be encapsulated in an object and passed pas pointers to consumers, yes.

– responsibilities = services

– readability = verbose

– problem = memory management and threading

– design pattern for apps where the renderer is separate from the state and logic is well known. we call it ‘games’

– Pascal’s functions within functions was an improvement. Classes were an improvement but inheritance was not. Composable classes replacing class with protoype inheritance is an improvement.

– passing pointers, values, types, functions, objects (types+functions), classes (types, functions, logic), is all good stuff. Passing ‘props’ (undocumented parameters) is fucking insanity. The fact that we rarely know which of these we’re passing is the damned curse of softly typed programming. It’s not like we have to make a binary choice between typed and manually-cast, vs untyped. We can type and cast implictly right?

– MVC was a stupid fking idea. just like xml was a stupid fking idea. I mean, why do we have to repeat stupid fking ideas in every generation? omg…. those who are ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it, and f-ck over all of us who are NOT ignorant of history.

– all the test harnesses we are creating are compensation for weaknesses in the language (js), and the compiler (ack), and the operating system (the browser).

– functional programming syntax in JS is as disaster prone as the sh_t idiots wrote in perl. I mean… wtf? Seriously?

– What you see in programming today is that people are writing code that compensates for a weaknesses in the compiler (browser).

– Writing ‘compliers’ that reduce to native JS is fine, because there is too high a cost to decomposition of a higher level language at runtime. But then there is no value to the current extensions to js.

– Virtual Dom (a local db using pub-sub to renderers) is a good solution but hacking it together like this is ridiculously expensive, fragile, and unmaintainable. Thankfully third world devs are cheap.

– The browser and JS consortiums are now an impediment rather than advantage. And they are exporting enormous costs into the industry by their failure to move at a faster pace.

– My suspicion is that everyone (with time) will figure this out and bypass js, turning it into the equivalent of machine code for the browser. Typescript/Babel/Webpack functions as a map of the future. The problem is WE ARE NOT WRITING IN A HIGHER LEVEL LANGUAGE, but a low level language (js) that is syntactically (grammatically) weak. So you can reliably compile it.

I mean basically everyone is trying to use a pretty syntactically weak language (js) to superset that syntactically weak language, because it is the only option we have for the browser, because the browser data structure (the DOM), and the language (js), are archaic.

react -> flux is largely correct.

But the goddamn hacks it makes use of are just unbelieveable.

omg…. this is gonna be not only the snowflake generation but the flaky-code generation.

OMG….

I mean… PROGRAMMING = A GRAMMAR.

When you TEACH PROGRAMMING, start with english grammar (noun, verb, adverb, sentence, etc)

Do not start with maethmatics.

Math is for the descxription of constant relations constructed from transformations.

algorithms describe transformations.

programming is not mathematics (calculation of constant relations)

it is instruction: SPEECH

OMG.

I’m going to drink some whiskey.

really….. really.

I …. I can’t take any more stupid today.

too… much…. stupid…..