Form: Humor

  • TRUMP/HILLARY HUMOR Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon a

    TRUMP/HILLARY HUMOR

    Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery.

    As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.

    She says to Donald, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything and I don’t even need to lie.” I will definitely win the election.

    The Donald says to Hillary, “That’s the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”

    Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.” Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

    The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “What did you do with the pastries?” Trump replies, “Look in Hillary’s pocket”.


    Source date (UTC): 2016-10-12 14:04:00 UTC

  • THE MILLENNIAL AMERICAN FLAG? The millennials have proposed a change to the Amer

    THE MILLENNIAL AMERICAN FLAG?

    The millennials have proposed a change to the American flag. The stars are replaced with snowflakes.


    Source date (UTC): 2016-10-12 07:15:00 UTC

  • (humor) My (angelic) 17 year old niece made a lovely glass calendar for her dorm

    (humor)

    My (angelic) 17 year old niece made a lovely glass calendar for her dorm room, and filled it with dates and times of events for the month.

    Her only mistake was leaving it on the counter – complete with whiteboard markers.

    So I added a few appointments she ‘forgot’.

    – “Keg Party at Frat House” (all weekend event)

    – “Start Work At Strip Club”

    – “Enter Rehab”

    lolz


    Source date (UTC): 2016-10-10 18:51:00 UTC

  • LIVES MATTER (humor)

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/10/06/performers-organize-clown-lives-matter-march-in-hopes-to-quench-fears.htmlCLOWN LIVES MATTER

    (humor)


    Source date (UTC): 2016-10-06 07:43:00 UTC

  • Perfect Regional Humor

    Perfect Regional Humor.


    Source date (UTC): 2016-10-03 02:41:00 UTC

  • ( You get extra points if you can buy her shoes and bags. )

    ( You get extra points if you can buy her shoes and bags. )


    Source date (UTC): 2016-09-30 03:30:00 UTC

  • Humor: world’s most beautiful women. Truth: cost of software developers and cost

    Humor: world’s most beautiful women. Truth: cost of software developers and cost of living during development. Best life ever.


    Source date (UTC): 2016-09-29 08:05:26 UTC

    Original post: https://twitter.com/i/web/status/781404505384579072

    Reply addressees: @GodDamnRoads

    Replying to: https://twitter.com/i/web/status/781236160718831616


    IN REPLY TO:

    Original post on X

    Original tweet unavailable — we could not load the text of the post this reply is addressing on X. That usually means the tweet was deleted, the account is protected, or X does not expose it to the account used for archiving. The Original post link below may still open if you view it in X while signed in.

    Original post: https://twitter.com/i/web/status/781236160718831616

  • Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton walk in to a bar. Donald leans over, and with a

    Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton walk in to a bar.

    Donald leans over, and with a smile on his face, says,

    “The media is really tearing you apart for that Scandal.”

    Hillary: “You mean my lying about Benghazi?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean the massive voter fraud?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Using my secret private server with classified material to Hide my Activities?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything Else?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, Hiring Cronies, And taking bribes from foreign countries?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean the drones being operated in our own country without The Benefit of the law?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million, and right afterward it Declared Bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, commodity Deals?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Turning Libya into chaos?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Being the mastermind of the so-called “Arab Spring” that only brought chaos, death and destruction to the Middle East and North Africa?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Leaving four Americans to die in Benghazi?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “The funding and arming of terrorists in Syria, the destruction and destabilization of that nation, giving the order to our lapdogs in Turkey and Saudi Arabia to give sarin gas to the “moderate” terrorists in Syria that they eventually used on civilians, and framed Assad, and had it not been for the Russians and Putin, we would have used that as a pretext to invade Syria, put a puppet in power, steal their natural resources, and leave that country in total chaos, just like we did with Libya?

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “The creation of the biggest refugees crisis since WWII?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Leaving Iraq in chaos? “

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “The DOJ spying on the press?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance Executives?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Giving our cronies in SOLYNDRA $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 Months Later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “The NSA monitoring citizens’ ?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “The State Department interfering with an Inspector General Investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Threats to all of Bill’s former mistresses to keep them quiet?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean the INSIDER TRADING of the Tyson chicken deal I did where I invested $1,000 and the next year I got $100,000?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean when Bill met with Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, just before my hearing with the FBI to cut a deal?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: ” You mean the one where my IT guy at Platte River Networks asked Reddit for help to alter emails?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean where the former Haitian Senate President accused me and my foundation of asking him for bribes?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean that old video of me laughing as I explain how I got the charges against that child rapist dropped by blaming the young girl for liking older men and fantasizing about them. Even though I knew the guy was guilty?

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean that video of me coughing up a giant green lunger into my drinking glass then drinking it back down?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean that video of me passing out on the curb and losing my shoe?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean when I robbed Bernie Sanders of the Democratic Party Nomination by having the DNC rig the nomination process so that I would win?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean how so many people that oppose me have died in mysterious was?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Travel Gate? When seven employees of the White House Travel Office were fired so that friends of Bill and mine could take over the travel business? And when I lied under oath during the investigation by the FBI, the Department of Justice, the White House itself, the General Accounting Office, the House Government Reform and Oversight Committee, and the Whitewater Independent Counsel?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “The scandal where, (while I was Secretary if State), the State Department signed off on a deal to sell 20% of the USA’s uranium to a Canadian corporation that the Russians bought, netting a $145 million donation from Russia to the Clinton Foundation and a $500,000 speaking gig for Bill from the Russian Investment Bank that set up the corporate buyout?. That scandal?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “That time I lied when I said I was under sniper fire when I got off the plane in Bosnia?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “That time when after I became the First Lady, I improperly requested a bunch of FBI files so I could look for blackmail material on government insiders?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “That time when Bill nominated Zoe Baird as Attorney General, even though we knew she hired illegal immigrants and didn’t pay payroll taxes on them?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “When I got Nigeria exempted from foreign aid transparency guidelines despite evidence of corruption because they gave Bill a $700,000 in speaking fees?”

    Trump” “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “That time in 2009 when Honduran military forces allied with rightist lawmakers ousted democratically elected President Manuel Zelaya, and I as then-Secretary of State sided with the armed forces and fought global pressure to reinstate him?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I’ve got it! When I stole the White House furniture, silverware, when Bill left Office?”

    Trump: “THAT’S IT! I almost forgot about that one”.


    Source date (UTC): 2016-09-25 12:56:00 UTC

  • (Probably too subtle a bit of logical humor)

    (Probably too subtle a bit of logical humor)


    Source date (UTC): 2016-09-19 11:12:36 UTC

    Original post: https://twitter.com/i/web/status/777827729009938432

    Reply addressees: @ne0colonial

    Replying to: https://twitter.com/i/web/status/777826505212637185


    IN REPLY TO:

    Original post on X

    Original tweet unavailable — we could not load the text of the post this reply is addressing on X. That usually means the tweet was deleted, the account is protected, or X does not expose it to the account used for archiving. The Original post link below may still open if you view it in X while signed in.

    Original post: https://twitter.com/i/web/status/777826505212637185

  • Natural Law: A Career for Aspies 😉

    You know, where Legislative Law demands a lot from your memory, Propertarianism (Natural Law) demands a lot from your autism. We finally have a career for aspies. 🙂

    —“ROFL” — David Mondrus —“It’s very difficult to speak in it. It’s like Latin for me: I can only read and write it.” —William Butchman