Category: Personal Reflections and Diary

(ack. headache. weather. useless today. time to move content rather than produce content. )

OK. This experiment has been a fucking catastrophe. I’m beyond embarrassed, frustrated, and angry.

Megan asks if she can set something intimate up with followers. I give her the shot. She drives her own interests, and I go along with it, and while we get two grown ups (Sunic and Duchesne) then she gets Red Ice Radio involved – “Tinfoil Hat Radio”, then gets Jorjani Involved (tinfoil hat pseudo academic – this guy is a fucking nutcase). Then she gets MacDonald. And we have now we have become a bunch of whiny bitches and tinfoil hatters, rather than people discussing solutions to postmodernism.

I’m embarrassed to be even vaguely associated with someone like Jorjani. I’m embarrassed that I was on Red Ice Radio. (The only people with podcasts smart enough to talk to are Mike and Sven.) And it is against my long term interests to be on the stage with MacDonald even if I agree with him – it’s negative – bitching about others.

It’s all the kind of mentally and emotionally ill bullshit I want to remove from the public order – and all of a sudden this thing has flipped around to where I’m a supporter of precisely what I work against.

And then rather than a panel where I can address these issues as a competitor, she wants me to play moderator, and *maybe* I will get to make my point.

I am slow, but I begin to see the pattern: Evola, Jorjani, Postmodern and Occult references, and anti-other-people hate rather than self-reformation.

Josh is mentally ill. Seriously mentally ill. Mentally ill enough that I should get a restraining order. Thankfully I have a recording of it so that I can get one if I need to. I don’t know who pseudorandom number is but he isn’t any better.

Megan asked me to ‘let josh back in’ and I trusted her to manage him. And what happens? Bill has to step in and control the lunacy, and then other people message me all day today that these people are seriously mentally handicapped.

I deal with ‘common folk’ as an experiment. I have been far too tolerant. Now, I’m going to be as intolerant as possible and narrow the entire follower set down.

I learned from working with many people like Joel and Rik, that even very few of the smart people are emotionally strong enough to deal with science alone. I’ve now learned that the occult side is just as emotionally weak. And I am looking for those people who are strong enough emotionally and intellectually.

I want to build an opposition to the frankfurt school. I do not want ‘followers’ who are physically, emotionally, or mentally immature or defective.

*One’s philosophy is measured by the people who follow it.*

I don’t want ‘followers’. I want fellow leaders, to take on the work of changing the world.

And the emotionally and mentally defective, and even the emotionally and mentally weak, are not people I want to reflect my work.

So as always, experiment a lot. But most experiments fail. And the value is failure is often higher than the value of success. And in this failure I have learned that it is time for an upgrade in the audience, and to return to a brand that is closer to my rather snobbish predisposition.

Cheers