Category: Personal Reflections and Diary

Yesterday, Yulia, Suliko, and Amanda had Roman and I over for a wonderful home cooked meal. It was beautiful. It’s hard to explain to Ukrainians that Americans don’t talk to their neighbors. Usually we live very far from the rest of our family. And we live in these physical as well as mental ‘boxes’ we rarely see out of. New England, or at least what’s left of it, still has a concept of family. So does the south – or what’s left of it. But that’s what I love about this country, Ukraine (and their cousins the lovable insanely crazy russians). It’s extremely genuine. I’m incredibly cognizant now of the constant status-warfare that’s the central ambition of american life. And I want nothing at all to do with it. I don’t like the countries that were fully brought into orthodoxy and dominion of the turks. Too much low trust. But you don’t see that here in Ukraine. Both the Catholics, Protestants, and the Orthodox ethics are here. and they tended to protect the value of each other somehow.

It’s also helped me understand myself. I am really happy with a backpack, some technology, some nice clothes and a sports car. As a child I felt the same way. I used to think of it as ‘traveling light’ (freedom.) But something happened in college. I felt the need to become wealthy as a status symbol. But the truth is that, after all those serious illnesses, and selling pretty much all my ‘material burdens’, I’m a hell of a lot happier. Of course, being healthy is probably most of it. 🙂

Because i’m free.

I know it sounds trite. Because before I actually HAD all the things people dream of, i wanted them. But AFTER I had them all, I realized that all that matters is the people you spend time with. And that to have good friends you must supply something to the friendship. And if you need ‘things’ to get their attention, then you should probably work on your character and love instead. Because all money did for me is attract parasites and free riders that you must protect your ‘stuff’ from.

Everyone should feel safe. And comfortable. But the data shows that after you make 60K a year, increases in wealth do not bring you happiness. Now, for me, just ’cause I’m an information junkie, it’s more expensive to feed the machine in my head. So that number appears to be about twice as high before I feel ‘comfortable’.

And I really would just laugh at myself ten years ago. But it’s the truth. This is where I ended up. Material shit is a boatanchor. Money is freedom.

Make money. Collect experiences. Collect friends. Collect accomplishments. And leave the ‘stuff’ to the people who only CAN collect stuff.