Category: Human Behavior and Cognitive Science

Curt Doolittle updated his status.

IT’S BETTER TO BE CAUGHT BY A WOMAN THAN CATCH
Some men are very good at catching women and moving on. But just like women who sleep around, they have a harder time with long term relations (yes they do.) However when they settle they seem to catch very good catches.

I have zero fear. I am also, as are most aspies, about as friendly and confident as drunk people. It’s not at all difficult to talk to women. But my experience is that most women think I’m hitting on them when I’m just being conversational, friendly, or playful (i’m not. it’s just my demeanor). The problem is that the market for smart geeky chicks that are reasonably fit and attractive, and not four inches taller than I am is relatively narrow.;)

But a lot of men either have fear or fail a lot. And my explanation for this most of the time is too much self interest because of insufficient team socialization – and or a mistaken self cognizance of market value.

(… We seriously need to put together a class for how women judge men ’cause it’s pretty simple and has nothing to do with how women judge men – at all. )

I was surrounded by women. My father was a very evil very brutal nightmare and gone a lot thankfully. I had great male friends. My grandfather was a bit of a role model. But I grew up surrounded by women and women who are strong and fairly stoic by comparison.

(… Having brothers and sisters matters. I have an easier time understanding women because I had them. and am less tolerant of men because i didn’t have brothers – although my cousins did help quite a bit, and I had good male friends.)

I don’t get the whole ‘sell’ women on you thing. I get the ‘be valuable to a woman thing’. If you spent as much time thinking about and getting valuable, then you would attract a woman.

One of the problems with selling women is getting into the ‘project’ mentality and then you simply drop off attention after you hunt down some female. This blows up in your face every time.

Another of the problems is that you still want a mommy who takes care of you rather than a partner with whom you multiply one another’s fulfillments. Unfortunately women are suckers for this kind of thing when they are young and this is the reason for most failed marriages: foolish untrained women, and lazy undisciplined men.

Most of catching a woman has to do with team and group participation wether hobby, social, sport, business, or political. It is very hard for a woman to test you other than shit-testing you without a herd of other men and women demonstrating your sexual, social, economic, and political merit. Women can’t and don’t trust their feelings as much as they do the feelings of those around them – especially their girlfriends and family members. Women generally intuit Status, Friends, Family, Self in that order.

The best investment most men can make is in playing any team sport once or twice a week no matter what sport it is, and no matter how terrible the team. The next best is politics. The next business. The next music. The next hobbies. The problem is that since competition and dominance play are suppressed in vast portions of society, you can’t display that dominance and ‘catch’ a woman without some environment to demonstrate it in.

(… My thing is the arts. I am 100% guaranteed to find dates in art classes. Executive leadership was a thing for obvious reasons. Speaking at conferences a thing. This online thing is a draw for some reason I don’t understand – but it’s a persona, not me. Playing music is the most obvious and easiest.)

Women do the catching. All you can do is be where women are trying catch, and in a condition where they can see you’re worth catching. Individually that takes money. As a members of a team it takes being worthy of your team.

(…. Women always catch me. I never have knowingly caught a woman. This is partly attributable to my aspiness. Partly do my lack of awareness. And partly attributed to my natural monogamy.)

The vast majority of women want to feel safe in the sense that they want to feel safe expressing their intuitions (feelings). They want to feel socially and economically safe. They want to feel they are competing successfully with other women (reaching their full female potential). Most want ‘friendship’. And just like a good number of men, a good number of women are lazy and socially undesirable.

(… After I have been caught, I work by trying to find how to make a woman feel safe, understood, and how to maximize her fulfillment in life. I will build her confidence. I will sacrifice for her. I will not engage in the gift game, symbolism game, consumer signaling game, or the help with woman’s work game. Those are all traps.)

Unfortunately, for evolutionarily necessary reasons, men vastly overestimate their sexual, social market value and so play to the economic and other values. Unfortunately about a third of men are reproductively, socially, and economically undesirable. This is more undesirability than women. The difference is that men can easily fix their undesirability with work, and women, other than staying fit and not fat, cannot do much other than dress well, makeup and preen.

(… I don’t stay on the market long. I don’t do much. At present I am too far outside of civilization to ‘get caught’. Which is good for my work btw.)

Unfortunately the data is in that about 1/3 of women are literally crazy – made crazy by puberty and lacking sufficient social framework around them to control it. A lot of women will think they have talents or magic or some other crazy nonsense, rather than understand that they cannot explain the origins of their intuitions, but that they have much higher sensory processing than men, and less insulation from it than men, so their intuition especially in social matters is on the same level as dogs versus humans in sense of smell. As such some women are overwhelmed by this sensory stimuli, and some are able to distance themselves from it with exposure to strong males, and some minor training.

(… I cannot tell you how much the easy cost of crazy sex is a death trap. And how much being the submissive in a relationship is a long term death trap. It is very important that a woman think you are a good catch for her. More important than the reverse. This is because men are far, far, far, more loyal than women are (really). Women will work harder at preserving a relationship but they do so out of desire not to fail. Men do not work so hard because they have less they can do, but are more sentimental and loyal.)

Unfortunately our middle class has genetically shrunk and so the number of desirable women and men are diluted in relation to the underclasses and immigrant expansion. This is why separation is necessary.

I’d write on humor and dress and a few other things but I’m done with this subject for today… lol