(diary) (a life contemplated) When I succeed it’s almost always for the same rea

(diary) (a life contemplated)

When I succeed it’s almost always for the same reason: I solve someone else’s problem better than others can. It usually the combination of extra-hard work, even disproportionately hard work, and creativity.

When I fail, its almost always for the same reason: because I want to solve my own problem, or complete my own project, and I don’t know when enough is literally enough.

The difference between these two categories is whether someone else establishes limits or whether I do. And the problem is, that as you learn more and more about a problem your radius of observable possibility increases – it remains a constant. So achievement is never achieved so to speak.

I have made this mistake repeatedly in life. Just as I have made the mistake of working myself into incompetence. Just as I have won and lost a number of fortunes.

I think because I like the hunt so much I do not care to eat the kill. And without a hunt I do not know what to do with myself. 🙂 Or it could be just a side effect of autism: intense exploration of a problem at the expense of all other problems.