SILLY I need a little set of printed person humor cards, that say: 1) “We are bu

SILLY

I need a little set of printed person humor cards, that say:

1) “We are business people. We sell ideas for a living. That means that we are a bit clueless by our very nature. So if we are loud, tell us. It’s OK. It’s also perfectly OK to throw us out of the restaurant at closing time. Because we aren’t going to notice that you want to go home on our own. We won’t feel bad. We’ll even tip you better. –Thanks in advance.”

2) “A martini is a ritual. It’s like the Japanese Tea Ceremony. It’s heretical and unpatriotic to make it incorrectly. This is how you make a proper martini: a) a very cold glass b) a cocktail shaker c) place three ounces of gin d) four or five drops of vermouth e) four or five ice cubes: holding each cube in the palm of your hand, bash it a good one with the back of a heavy tablespoon, to crack it into chunks. Drop the ice chunks into the cocktail shaker. e) Shake HARD back and forth for 15 or 20 seconds – this will make it very cold. Pour into the glass. Add either lemon peel or olive, and serve immediately. –Thank you for your diligence in this matter.”

3) “No, I don’t think you’re attractive, I’m just an extrovert and a nerd. Being nice to random people, regardless of gender, is like physical exercise: it makes me feel good. And like smiling, it costs nothing, requires little effort and makes the world a better place for all of us. –Noblesse Oblige.”

I’d use the first one all the time. I’d use the second one some of the time. I’d never use the third one. But it would make me feel better to know that I could use it if I wanted to. 🙂