(diary) I grew up in a rural farming town in the sixties and early seventies. Fi

(diary)
I grew up in a rural farming town in the sixties and early seventies. Fights were a way of life. And worse – it was before academic nerds were cool. My father was abusive and an alcoholic. And I regularly considered killing him. When I was 12 I broke a kid’s nose, and another kids ribs by kicking him when he was down. When I was 13 I nearly killed a kid by choking him out in a classroom, and then not letting go. He was blue. When I was sixteen I beat a kid year older than I with a shopping cart in a parking lot. And at that moment I realized that if I did not gain control of my temper I could go to jail and ruin my life. I switched that temper off that night and never let it out of the box again.
Yet even today, when one of the people I love, especially my close friends, is hurt emotionally or physically by anyone, my first instinct is to deeply hurt or kill that person. I don’t ever let it out of the box. I have total control. But that doesn’t mean the instinct isn’t there.
We have over-domesticated boys. Because we naturally do a good job of reigning each other in, while learning how to draw upon fortitude and violence when we, or those we love require it. Weak men are created by foolish women, yielding weak nations. That collapse from within.