RE: Ultimatums. They’re destructive and unnecessary. Simply have the discussion

RE: Ultimatums.
They’re destructive and unnecessary. Simply have the discussion about your future. Tell him you are interested. Ask him what it would take for him to be ‘ready’. It will help him decide. Men marry when they are ready. Ready means secure in their understanding of the path to their future. It’s more about that than about you. You are an expense. A luxury good. The biggest expense he will ever bear. Then, after two or three weeks or better a month, having not brought it up again in any way, even by hinting, ask him how he feels about your prospects for the long term. If he is uncertain then don’t give an ultimatum. Just leave and wish him good luck. I usually know within about three or four months that a woman is a candidate. I know for certain after a year. If it takes longer than eighteen months that’s a bad sign for a woman – even though some relationships are so secure and so devoted that they can result in marriage after five, six or more years.